Thursday, May 15, 2008

Joys, Fears, Goals, Current Obsessions, and Random Facts

Sherrie tagged me on this one...

Joys

Besides some of the more obvious joys (children, family, friends, gospel) I thought of a few others...

1. Road/Mountain biking, backcountry skiing, adventure. Of course those who read My Happy Place post know this already.
2. Reading in my house when it's clean and quiet!! It's so rare, but I am so fulfilled when I get these moments. It helps if it's a nice sunny day and I am basking in it.
3. Talking with Eric (Definitely not his favorite thing, he prefers to just be together and not have to talk the whole time. I'll go if I don't have to talk). His mind is much quieter than mine and I wish I could shut mine off at times. He wonders how it's possible to have so much to talk about and why so deep and heavy? Well, he knows that is just a part of me. I love what he said last night to me. I asked him...

"do you hate that I'm an emotional wreck?"
"No, cuz you're my emotional wreck."
"wait..I am an emotional wreck?!@"

Oh, bless his heart.

Fears

1. Sharks and water. Those of you who know this about me know that I'm even scared in pools sometimes! I am terrified of the unknown underneath me. I feel too vulnerable and my imagination gets the better of me. I mean, really, there could be anything down there. Yikes, I just got scared.

2.Failure. I have to be honest here. I know that we all fail and that its a part of life, but I'm still afraid of failing.

3. Anything terrible happening to my kids/family.

Basically I have a lot of fears. I am scared to make mistakes and have regrets. It seems that by now I would be able to deal with this fear because I make mistakes every day, but I still struggle. A really bad day can make me think my world is crumbling. It's not so fun. I can hear Eric and my mom right now praying that goal #3 will take effect immediately.

Goals

1. Be faster on my bike by August
2. Be "in the moment" with my children and enjoy "the doing" of motherhood
3. Be more optimistic

Current Obsessions

1. Mountain/road biking
2. Blogging
3. "Lost". I love that show!

Random Facts About Me

1. I constantly "check" things and the like, thanks to OCD. I check the locks on doors, my kids (especially while they sleep), check if they are breathing, constantly look out the window, count things, check my wedding ring...Are you weirded out yet?
2. I daydream a lot. Sometimes reality just isn't that interesting.
3. I am an all-or-nothing person. Sometimes that works, sometimes not so much. When I've eaten 1 or 2 cookies I have already ruined my healthy day, so why not just have another and another and another...you get the point.

So, no pressure. If you want to do this then I would love to hear about your joys, fears, etc.

I tag (anybody that will do it :) and...

Anika
Diana
Ashley
Amber
Renee
Megan
Tracey
Lizzy
Jessica
Melissa
Mimi
Janae
Rachel
Jacey


10 comments:

Eric said...

I love my wife, she's the best. Everything she wrote is something I admire and love about her.

bechtold clan said...

Jay,
I loved reading your post!

It was so great to hang out a few times during my leave...your such a great friend you know.
a

The McEwans said...

You are amazing!!! I read this post and I have the exact same fears: water, failure, regrets, my world crumbling from one bad day! I LOVE the quote of the week. It is so hard to live in the moment for me. You are so honest, and that makes it so easy to love you. You are an amazing friend. I absolutely love reading your blog. The boys are so dang cute!

Sherrie Batty said...

Jaynann,

I loved getting to know you a little better. You are so cute. Garrett and I always comment on how you and Eric are perfect for each. Such a cute family.

Doug said...

remember that one time, on white rim, when we hiked down and jumped in the green river, and you couldn't get out, cuz the bank was vertical, and i was behind you trying to boost you out, but had nothing to stand on, and someone said there was a big fish in the water, and suddenly you were airborne and 5 feet up the bank?

that was awesome.

dug

Jaynann said...

Dug-

So funny and embarrassing. Such kind brother-in-laws to push my shiny, Lycra behind out of the water. You both gave such effort. I don't know how you had any strength to get me out of the water; we were all laughing so hard. I think that is the first time I ever heard Rick's real laugh. You know that deep one where you know he really thinks something is funny.

Megan-I know. Living in the moment with small children requires such focus and relaxation at the same time. That quote is there to remind me to sit and play with my kids even when I have laundry all over the couch waiting to be folded. My kids say, "one sec" and "just a minute" already...not sure where they heard that. I think most moms have a hard time with this one.

Rachel said...

I can't promise I will do this because I am really not good at "tags" however, I was laughing the whole time and read it back to Daniel. So funny. Daniel is afraid of open water too. strange. I guess it is because you guys grew up on Lake Michigan. I think that really could have ANYTHING in it. (Daniel would prefer that I don't say he is afraid, just that he doesn't let his feet dangle.) I am so bummed I didn't get to see Dug and Rick pushing you out of the water. I am laughing really hard thinking about it. thanks =)

Hill Gang said...

It was great to get to know you a little better! Did you watch "so you think you can dance" last night? I've been telling everyone for weeks how excited I have been for it to start! I couldn't help but think of watching the finale together last summer! I had such a blast, it was one of the highlights of my summer! Do you think you guys will be coming back to California this summer? Jacey

Tracey said...

I am planning on doing this when I get an extra few minutes.

Jeff and Diana said...

jay i loved all that. i have some of the same thoughts as you know. i will try to do that. i really hate doing tags. i love reading other peoples but i hate typing all of it out. lets have a play date soon! love ya.