Joys, Fears, Goals, Current Obsessions, and Random Facts

Sherrie tagged me on this one...

Joys

Besides some of the more obvious joys (children, family, friends, gospel) I thought of a few others...

1. Road/Mountain biking, backcountry skiing, adventure. Of course those who read My Happy Place post know this already.

2. Reading in my house when it's clean and quiet!! It's so rare, but I am so fulfilled when I get these moments. It helps if it's a nice sunny day and I am basking in it.
3. Talking with Eric (Definitely not his favorite thing, he prefers to just be together and not have to talk the whole time. I'll go if I don't have to talk). His mind is much quieter than mine and I wish I could shut mine off at times. He wonders how it's possible to have so much to talk about and why so deep and heavy? Well, he knows that is just a part of me. I love what he said last night to me. I asked him...

"do you hate that I'm an emotional wreck?"
"No, cuz you're my emotional wreck."
"wait..I am an emotional wreck?!@"

Oh, bless his heart.

Fears

1. Sharks and water. Those of you who know this about me know that I'm even scared in pools sometimes! I am terrified of the unknown underneath me. I feel too vulnerable and my imagination gets the better of me. I mean, really, there could be anything down there. Yikes, I just got scared.

2.Failure. I have to be honest here. I know that we all fail and that its a part of life, but I'm still afraid of failing.

3. Anything terrible happening to my kids/family.

Basically I have a lot of fears. I am scared to make mistakes and have regrets. It seems that by now I would be able to deal with this fear because I make mistakes every day, but I still struggle. A really bad day can make me think my world is crumbling. It's not so fun. I can hear Eric and my mom right now praying that goal #3 will take effect immediately.

Goals

1. Be faster on my bike by August

2. Be "in the moment" with my children and enjoy "the doing" of motherhood

3. Be more optimistic

Current Obsessions

1. Mountain/road biking

2. Blogging

3. "Lost". I love that show!

Random Facts About Me

1. I constantly "check" things and the like, thanks to OCD. I check the locks on doors, my kids (especially while they sleep), check if they are breathing, constantly look out the window, count things, check my wedding ring...Are you weirded out yet?
2. I daydream a lot. Sometimes reality just isn't that interesting.

3. I am an all-or-nothing person. Sometimes that works, sometimes not so much. When I've eaten 1 or 2 cookies I have already ruined my healthy day, so why not just have another and another and another...you get the point.

So, no pressure. If you want to do this then I would love to hear about your joys, fears, etc.

I tag (anybody that will do it :) and...

Anika
Diana
Ashley
Amber
Renee
Megan
Tracey
Lizzy
Jessica
Melissa
Mimi
Janae
Rachel
Jacey

Brother Moments

So, some days motherhood pays it forward. The other morning before Talon was going to school I went into the front room and found Tyler laying on Talon's back. They were watching a show, cozy as could be, neither one complaining.


This morning I was trying to get a little more shut-eye on the couch (thanks to our early risers) and I heard them talking to each other.

Tyler- "Talon?...I wuv you."
Talon- "I love you."

My heart melted.


The other day, Talon was helping Tyler get dressed. Tyler wanted to match Talon, exactly. He wanted shorts and a t-shirt just like Talon's. They even had to be the same color as his. It was all I could do to not tear up right then and there. Watching Talon help Tyler get his little shorts and t-shirt on was so sweet a moment between brothers.

Of course they also wrestle and bug each other all the time. They start laughing and end crying. It makes me laugh. I love watching them play.


I tried to get a good shot of the boys together. No chance. Is it possible to get two little boys to take a nice picture in their matching outfits? I just want ONE! Of course, they have to be perfectly smiling, eyes open, with the perfect background all at the same time . Is it that hard? Am I asking too much?...maybe.


Talon was getting his allergy tests the other day. It can be painful when they use toothpick-like instruments to poke your back. He started to cry a little bit in the doctor's office. Tyler went over to him and said in his compassionate voice, "You okay Talon? Okay?" Then he looked at the nurse and in his low, raspy angry voice, he said "you, don hurr my brudder!" (you, don't hurt my brother!) This is the same voice he uses to tell me and anyone else "you, go corner!" for a time-out. It's a very froggy, Yoda-like voice. He is very protective of his brudder.

(PS-the blue lips are not Talon's new look...just a very potent blue sucker.)

Tyler wants to be just like his big brother, Talon. He says and does everything that Talon does. Talon is good to allow his younger brother to play with him and his friends. He is always making sure that Tyler is OK.

All these moments make motherhood worth it.